Independent Woman, Indian Problem !

We in the Indian society, the modern generation, still below 35 of age, Young and full of risk taking appetite usually globe trotters and based out of Indian metropolis are still far from our counterparts in developed countries. No, the catching up is not on continuous and present tense of things or either on how many more concrete buildings to add. Catching up is on the way we still and the way we will continue to treat the fairer gender. Word fairer here, is not used in a sexist way, whatsoever. It is used to indicate who is fairer in their day to day dealings with someone more accomplished than them or on doling appreciation for their hard work and achievements. This is an underlying problem which needs to be uprooted, but before that the culprits need to face the chair. An incident does bring this to light. This was at one of our team dinners where a male colleague, new to the group, innocently was surprised at the fact that this particular team had unmarried and married women travelling for work around the globe especially on long duration but strategic assignments. Unmarried woman were assumed to be single while married ones were looked with “How come She?!” disapproving glances. Crux of the matter is will the same reaction would have been if the teams were all but married or unmarried men. Yes, the male colleague in discussion was undoubtedly Indian. So an independent woman – Financially non-dependent on anyone and has a mind of her own cause she has been trained to make her own decisions is still seen to attract some weird questions or general misguided opinions about her existence in our Indian society. If she is still not married, it is her fault. And God forbid, if she has already been at the altar or in a long relationship, she is an escapist irresponsible brat. She is a perfect company for men back home, to take her out for drinks or even present her to their friends at work and outside. And why will she not be perfect then, she is interesting cause of her travel stories and in the end she is more than willing to go Dutch or even pick up the tab. But when it comes to settling down, or committing a marriage date to her family, there is a different version of drama that follows. Somehow her independence which initially attracted these formidable alpha males becomes her only problem. Either she is expected to change and sacrifice what is her core or succumb to a journey with intolerable partners who feel a suffer-able dominance from her, under their very control. Now, above are the blanket statements, and there is off course a disclaimer. Not all Indian men are like this, there are some who are very supportive of their wives, girlfriends and live in partners’ careers. Those elusive men are sure somewhere and some lucky one will end up with them and they exist. But look around you, how many women you can count who do not put their education and years of experience to use after marriage or for a relationship AND how many men you can count who gave up their careers and settled for something less challenging cause of their female partners. I can count two, and trust me I have a big social circle. Are Indian men insecure of someone as successful as them? The first answer is No, at its face value. And if we look deeper aren’t all the problems in her life be resolved if she spends more time behind the desk doing some meagre clerical – counting some accessory stocks in warehouse just a stone throw distance away from her home. This is how an educated young woman makes herself worthy of marriage. And imagine the same solution on offer, to a man whose job demands long hours away from home. The integrity of the solution is switched from more practical to “Are you nuts, how you can even be suggesting such a thing” flavor. Being in shoes of such a woman and nurturing a relationship is a herculean task. Its mammoth cause of the daily battles she fights to keep herself going at work and outside. It is mind numbing and emotionally traumatic but believe me these women live through this, smile and excel at work. For some men reading and laughing through this, please we do know your rationale for being uncompassionated

boar as “We men are wired differently!” We all know happiest girls are prettiest. Its time even one with ambitions to trot globe and head a department and own their firm find happiness with their Indian partners, in the long run. Hence, usually I rest my case here I want to start a debate.